Every time we listen to our ego, every time we react and behave with intolerance, anger, fear, selfishness or resentment, a curtain is placed over our Light...
That's what I woke up to this morning.
Well, actually what I woke up to was a longing for the life I lived BEFORE spiritual awareness. You know the life in which you were younger and sillier and careless and irresponsible and completely living for...YOURSELF!
C'mon be honest. It is the last day of the New Year and for many people, life prior to spiritual awareness, was unabashedly...FUN. Or, so it seems when looking back at it anyway. When looking back at it we often forget the loneliness, and isolation, and the general state of being 'lost' that accompanied us everywhere we went. Lost in very good clothes and Manolo Blahniks, but lost nonetheless. We often forget the relationships built on nothing deep and everything shallow. We forget, even, that those relationships left us feeling empty and without a deep, profound, connection to ourselves. Oh yeah.
Yet, your spiritual guide understands. Laugh. I, too, especially one month into this New Year still question what I am doing in this desert on the way to the Promised Land...with no GPS. I mean c'mon can I get a map, a warranty, a promise? Or did I get all that already and I am just having a moment of me that is negating my faith? Hmmmm.
So, where is it? This Promised Land.
Well, I am most certain, completely sure, and 1000% knowing of the fact that the Promised Land is inside of you! That land of peace which is flowing with milk and honey is as far away as you allow it to be, or as close as you want it to be. When you get there it will produce a whole new world around you and outside of you. Have faith young Jedi.
That 'looking back phenomena' I realized, when I read the most moving words above, sent by a very Hip Girl girlfriend, is all about EGO. Grazie Claudia...sei veramente una Donne Di Dio.
Ego causes us to be involved with self. Ego causes us to be involved with our flesh. My need. My want. My desire. MY FLESH. Somewhere, a long time ago, I heard a saying; E.G.O. stands for Edging God Out. Think about what happens to your spiritual sense of power and peace when you Edge God Out. I bet you feel lost, and unmotivated, and uncertain, and fearful, and angry, and resentful, and intolerant...of everything and everyone who really loves you whom you really love.
Well, you MUST HOLD ON TO GOD. If you don't have friends around you who help you do that, then you need to go back to Blog #1, the first week of this New Year, and assess the friends around you and re-choose your posse. If your peeps are cool but they can't give you what you need on a morning when you've woken up surrounded by people who love you but still in a giant FUNK, then go to your Big B (BIBLE FOLKS) and read Psalms. David knew a thing or two about internal struggle. Remember, King David, was a man who loved hard, fought hard, and repented even harder.
And, for those of you who are computer junkies, like me, go to Blue Letter Bible.org and look at the Day By Day Grace reading or do a search and let God lead you to some water that will take away the deep thirst you may be feeling for some inspiration, some satisfaction, some awareness of what's really positive and productive, versus what will lead you down paths you've already tread and given up.
Generally speaking if you've been there and done that...and you moved on from it in the first place, don't revisit it. You know the definition of insanity. It's even Biblical...Proverbs 26:11 and 2 Peter 2:22 made me cringe:
|Pro 26:11||As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.|
|2Pe 2:22||Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit,"and, "A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud."|
And, yes, if you think about it, this 'looking back' and questioning if you can really walk this Spiritual Path causes you to feel like you're in the 'Dark' and there is no feeling of 'Light' involved in those moments.
So, as you reflect on the statement above, understand that these feelings of inadequacy and anger and frustration with living as a Child of God, when no-one else does, and when it seemed a lot more fun when you weren't, is just a SET-UP. A big set-up to get you back into the darkness where Satan, the Devil, Evil, Chaos reigned in your life and while you had moments of fun, you knew you were lost and unhappy and walking a road to nowhere alongside people who wouldn't really be there if you needed them anyway. And, getting older and older by the day. It's only cute to waste time until you're not cute anymore, while wasting time. Swallow that girlfriends.
As you realize this, build yourself up in the Words of God that will re-strengthen you and re-fortify you for the rest of your journey today and all year long. I can promise you, without doubt, that you will once again, as it says in Isaiah, "rise up on wings like eagles, walk and not grow weary, run and not faint," and your Light will begin to shine even brighter, and God will remember that you have dreams and desires and needs and wants and He will bless you with all of it in due time. Trust Him. He gives when WE are ready to receive and since He made us He knows best what He made us for and when He made us to receive it.
So, my brightly shining and well lit reader, by this point we've made it through a good month of stuff to ponder.
Yes, it can be exhausting walking this Spiritual Path to a better you. But, you're worth it. As they say in AA keep coming back, it works if you work it and you're WORTH it!!! I love that one and God knows I tried AA too.
Tomorrow is the first day of February, the second month of our 12 month Guide to Spirituality. We are just getting started so hang in there, hold on to God, and know that your life WILL be different if you stay the course!!! There are those I love who have never found the course, or worse, left it. I don't see them living in true happiness and success. And, all that they have I wouldn't want. Well, I'd want maybe a couple things...but I can't sell out my journey with God to get 'em so I will wait patiently for my Bentley. Kidding! Not really. Anyway.
It's Sunday morning so your resident Hip Girl Guide is going to fill up on a dose of Spirituality at the True Love Worship Center in the Valley, a church where the Holy Spirit moves like crazy and the transformation on members faces from one week to the next can only be explained by one thing...God turning up the Light in their lives as they hold on from week to week.
Stay sexy. Stay fierce. Stay strong. Stay focused. YOU are a child of the King. Work with that!!!